We were explaining love to the twins (they were early three). Jason and I met in our 30s – ok, my 30s. He was still in his 20s (but late, sheesh). Unlike Jason’s parents and his sister, who married their respective teenage sweethearts. We talked about how sometimes you don’t find the person you love when you’re younger – you might meet them later in life.
“Mommy and Daddy had to wait a long time to find each other,” I told them.
The boys considered this.
“Like I had to wait a long time to find Beta,” said Alpha.
It just doesn’t get any sweeter.
Alpha and Beta are my twin boys. Alpha asked if he could dress up like Cinderella. The answer is always “Of course!” when we aren’t on our way somewhere else, requiring him to be in actual clothes. We have a costume box that the boys can access at will.
Alpha – I need a prince charming.
Me (Mom) – I’ll be prince charming.
Alpha – No, prince charming is a boy.
This is fascinating because the boys are frequently Cinderella, Anna, Elsa, etc. and gender has never come into it. They know boys and girls but this has never been a limitation of play.
Mom – Ok, I respond.
Alpha – Beta, can you be prince charming?
Beta – No, I’m Lightening McQueen. Prince Charming is at work. <meaning Dad>
Mom – Will that work Alpha?
Alpha – No, he needs to be here.
Mom – I offered to be prince charming. <gentle reminder>
Alpha – You can be prince charming if you pretend you are Beta being prince charming.
Mom – Deal
Do your kids have a favorite character to play, particularly one that crosses gender roles?
Now that I work part time, Tuesday mornings are spent with the twins at the library for story time. We all pick out children’s books to take home. During an early visit, I found The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. “Oh, babies, this is one of Mommy’s favorite books.”
The next morning, I started reading it to the boys over breakfast. As the boys were just shy of three, I explained the pages to the boys. “Look, she gives him her apples. Look, her branches.” Then the tree started to give things that could no longer be replenished. I started tearing up. I tried to explain it to the boys – “The tree loves the boy so much, that she gives him all she has, until there is nothing left, because she wants him to be happy.” And then I was bawling. Clearly when I had read this book in earlier years, I was identifying more with the boy (or watching as an observer just appreciating the tale). Suddenly, I was totally the tree.
And the boys started saying “Put it away! Put it away!” and describing it as “The bad book that made Mommy cry.” Sigh. We’ll try again in a few years.
Have you shared a beloved story only to have it go awry?